Benjamin Maurice Hooker // Lafayette Reynolds

Honey? I think we should start preparing ourselves for the real possibility of a Bon Temps showing up.

Gotta say, Lafayette would kill for one of his aids burgers right now, and I wouldn't mind checking out Fangtasia.

( Otto )

A question for the masses.

If you were going to sell something on the black market. What would you sell?

( Mmmmm. )

If that's not a look of l-o-v-e, I don't know what is.

Apparently when you've been gone from the company for two months, they think that means it's okay to give your office a roommate. What is this, a college dormitory? I want my desk back to myself, goddamnitt. On top of being a general annoyance, this guy has really bad breath.

When did the son of the company's owner stop being my ticket to whatever I want? And I don't ask for much. Just an office. And pens that don't explode all over me.

( Lucy )

I'll give you one thing, Benjamin, your old girl certainly knows how to PAR-TAY. Felt like I was back in Boonnn Tempss with that hot piece of a-

Alright, you're done now. But for the record, my wife is a hotter piece of ass then Jason ever was.

... Never thought I'd have to say a sentence like that in my life.

I've missed V-blood. Be careful now, that shit is ADDICTIVE. Yeah, you would know wouldn't you. Any vampires around this bitch? If there are, we are NOT using them. No! Stop purring like that in my ear, Lafayette, I'm putting my foot down. ...

Well, I was hoping to do this in person but it seems I'm stuck until Friday and apparently one of the side effects of these pain killers is that they inspire honesty in a person. Or rather, they seem to disconnect the brain to mouth filter.

Lucy? My name is Ben and I'm a reincarnate.

Please don't divorce me.

( I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George mo' fuckin Bush, is terrified of the pussy )